


matchmakers

by kunimiakiras



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Texting, in this house we validate feral suga, it's universally known that oikawa uses kaomojis in every chatfic, keiji is so tired, probably a lot of extra implied/background relationships tbh, the faces are sparse though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-17 22:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21517636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kunimiakiras/pseuds/kunimiakiras
Summary: koushi's the devil[Today at 17:20]here's a hot takechildhood friends to loverskuroo tetsurou and kozume kenmatooru is in time out[Today at 17:25]dude that's wrongkuroo's totally in love with his libero guythe third year not the young onekoushi's the devil[Today at 17:25]i don't take criticism from people in timeouttooru is in time out[Today at 17:26]I HAVE BEEN IN TIME OUT FORTWO YEARSNOWJUST RELEASE ME (ಥ﹏ಥ)best boy(friend) keiji[Today at 17:26]did you just call one of your boyfriends 'dude'?or, a textfic in which keiji's boyfriends, for somegodforsakenreason, are insistent on playing cupid for other people.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Oikawa Tooru, Akaashi Keiji/Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi, Akaashi Keiji/Sugawara Koushi, Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 12
Kudos: 222
Collections: Fics That Should Be Adored and Loved





	1. one | kuroo tetsurou is bi at the very least

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ryan and shane's conversation is what sparked this story idea in my brain so i had to put it in at the beginning okay, i am not sorry.

**tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:33]  
i've connected the two dots

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 13:33]  
u didn't connect shit

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:33]  
i've connected them

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 13:35]  
please... please stop

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:35]  
LISTEN  
i can't be stopped (`A´)  
iwa-chan has tried

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 13:36]  
well if he can't stop u from using those dumb faces then i doubt he can stop u from doing anythin

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:37]  
talk to me when you learn how to spell words properly

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 13:39]  
that's quite ironic coming from the guy whose spelling goes out the window as soon as he's  
a) mad  
b) flustered  
c) or pouting

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 13:40]  
d) all of the above

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:40]  
god  
that is so not true

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 13:41]  
it is true

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 13:44]  
it's kinda true.

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:46]  
i only ever get ATTACKED in this relationship  
i want a refund!!!

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 13:46]  
unfortunately, there's a no refunds policy  
so I'm afraid you're stuck with us  
also the contract you signed says you can't leave

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 13:47]  
i don't remember signing a contract

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:47]  
that's bc keicchi's A FAKE  
there is no contract ヽ(ﾟДﾟ;)ﾉ!!

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 13:47]  
what is _that_

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:47]  
it's me being surprised

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 13:48]  
thanks i hate it

 **best (boy)friend keiji** [Today at 13:49]  
I think it's an okay face  
I like that other one though  
wait

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 13:49]  
don't  
don't  
don't

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 13:52]  
(˵◕ω◕˵✿)つ

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 13:52]  
i said DON'T

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:53]  
KEICCHI  
OH MY GO D

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 13:53]  
I like the flower

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:53]  
ヽ(♡‿♡)ノ  
I'M IN LOVE YOU

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 13:54]  
yes, me too.

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:55]  
!!!!!!

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 13:55]  
ok  
get a room u two

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:56]  
WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 13:57]  
I love you as well, Kou-san

 **koushi’s the devil** [Today at 13:58]  
keiji  
this is why you’re the best boyfriend

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 13:58]  
:)

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 13:59]  
i sense bias

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 13:59]  
no sir, no bias here

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 14:00]  
are you opposing to the fact that I am the best, Tooru?

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 14:00]  
absolutely  
not  
(god i am so scared of you please)

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 14:00]  
:)

* * *

**tooru is in time out** [Today at 17:00]  
i've got a fun idea

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 17:00]  
oh no

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 17:00]  
oh no

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 17:01]  
STOP  
YOU ALWAYS DO THIS

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 17:01]  
sorry  
please continue proposing your fun idea

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 17:02]  
i am not proposing to aNYONE

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 17:04]  
tooru.

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 17:04]  
OK OK  
here me out  
HEAR*  
let's talk about our underclassmen and how it's completely obvious they're in love with someone on the team or otherwise  
like how yahaba is in love with ******* and that's just how it be

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 17:05]  
ok well that actually is a fun idea  
BUT  
u can't say something like that and then censor out the second name  
if you're gonna talk abt your kouhai behind their backs u gotta go _**FULL SEND**_

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 17:06]  
second name is shirabu

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 17:06]  
you guys are college students now  
they're not your kouhai anymore  
also, how do you even know something like that?

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 17:07]  
my kouhai still talk to me bc they love me  
yahaba never stops complaining about him

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 17:08]  
have you ever considered that maybe he: hates him?

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 17:08]  
have _YOU_ ever considered: rivals to lovers

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 17:09]  
Kou-san,  
with all due respect,  
shut up

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 17:10]  
make me

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 17:11]  
do not be gay on main

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 17:11]  
i will be gay wherever i want to be  
except for with u

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 17:11]  
you are awful

* * *

**koushi's the devil** [Today at 18:20]  
here's a hot take  
childhood friends to lovers  
kuroo and kenma

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:25]  
dude that’s wrong  
kuroo’s totally in love with his libero guy  
the third year not the young one

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 18:25]  
i don’t take criticism from people in timeout

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:26]  
I HAVE BEEN IN TIME OUT FOR TWO YEARS NOW  
JUST RELEASE ME (ಥ﹏ಥ)

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:26]  
did you just call one of your boyfriends ‘dude’?

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:27]  
yes  
sorry i’ve been hanging round makki too much lately

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 18:30]  
call me dude one more time

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:30]  
no, thank you!  
i’d rather not risk it

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:31]  
risk what?

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:31]  
my life

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:31]  
understandable.  
anyways, how do you even know Kuroo-san, Tooru?

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:35]  
i do my research

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 18:37]  
that is so creepy

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:37]  
FOR NATIOALS  
IT WAS FOR NATIONALS  
not that i ever even got the chance to go bc of SOMEONE

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 18:38]  
oo someone’s still bitter

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:39]  
okay, we agreed to keep all na******s talk out of here  
let’s not break our rules

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:40]  
thanks for censoring that

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:40]  
I respect you

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 18:41]  
that’s oddly endearing

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:41]  
keicchi literally marry me

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:41]  
no

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:42]  
(ಥ﹏ಥ)

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 18:42]  
what about me

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:42]  
maybe later  
may I ask why you all assume Kuroo-san is gay though?

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:44]  
please  
have you seen the way he looks at guys

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 18:45]  
you should've seen the way he held daichi's hand when they first met  
kuroo tetsurou is bi at the very least

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:45]  
touché  
but you're both wrong  
about kenma and yaku  
he doesn't like either of them

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:46]  
WHAT  
give me proof  
who are your sources  
citations, right now

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:46]  
myself  
I am the source

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:46]  
not reliable enough

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:46]  
what the fu

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 18:47]  
say it, keiji

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:47]  
I don't swear  
and I am certain I know him better than you two ever will  
which means I am more than reliable

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:50]  
if we're so wrong then tell us what's right ⋌༼ •̀ ⌂ •́ ༽⋋

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:51]  
I can't say  
because no matter how much I love you two, I refuse to spill personal information about them without their permission

 **tooru is in time out** [Today at 18:51]  
aww, you love me?

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:51]  
,

 **koushi's the devil** [Today at 18:53]  
keiji you are so loyal  
please date me

 **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 18:53]  
I  
am so tired  
of the both of you.


	2. two | pandora's box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 15:15]  
> oh my God, just. pick one potential pairing and focus on getting them together. no one else  
> please  
> I want you guys to stop talking about all this as soon as possible
> 
> **tooru is free** [Today at 15:15]  
> !!!  
> BUT THERE’S SO MANY OF THEM  
> SO MUCH HOMOEROTIC TENSION ON THE VOLLEYBALL COURT  
> WAIT LET ME GET MY LIST
> 
> **koushi’s the devil** [Today at 15:16]  
> i hope you know you’ve just opened pandora’s box by saying that, keiji
> 
> * * *

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 12:03]  
don’t you think it’s a bit weird to talk about people you barely know like that?

**tooru is in time out** [Today at 12:03]  
it’s not weird

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:03]  
it’s a little weird  
but it’s fun

**tooru is in time out** [Today at 12:04]  
WE’RE JUST TRYING TO HELP THEM

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 12:04]  
you are helping no one but yourself

**tooru is in time out** [Today at 12:05]  
keiji,  
as the master of love, it’s my duty to help my fellow sportsmen date the love of their lives 

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 12:05]  
master of love?

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:07]  
lmao  
u are not the master of love

**tooru is in time out** [Today at 12:07]  
hey.  
i got myself two beautiful boyfriends which means i have every right to call myself that  
( *¯ ³¯*)♡

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:09]  
pfft gross  
sappy  
& gay

**tooru is in time out** [Today at 12:09]  
i AM gay

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 12:09]  
yes, we know.  
(also thanks for calling me beautiful I guess)

**tooru is in GAY time out** [Today at 12:09]  
OKAY  
what does gay time out even MEAN  
(and you’re welcome my lovely keicchi)

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:10]  
it means you’ve been timed out for committing gay  
and you’re not allowed to say anything affectionate until you’re free

**tooru is in GAY time out** [Today at 12:10]  
that’s homophobic, babe

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:10]  
don’t call me babe, idiot

**tooru is in GAY time out** [Today at 12:11]  
wHDKSJ%*}*~€|¥\\!&&@$*#^

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 12:11]  
Kou-san, I think you broke him

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:12]  
DOFNTT CALL ME RHAT  
WH Y DO YOY DO THAT

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 12:12]  
it’s called being respectful to people older than me

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:15]  
WE’VE BEEN DATINH FOR A YESR JUST FALL ME KOYSHI

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 12:18]  
okay, Koyshi.

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:18]  
STPP

**tooru is in GAY time out** [Today at 12:18]  
ahaha  
incredible  
now you know how it feels to get attacked

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:18]  
ffuck off

**tooru is in GAY time out** [Today at 12:19]  
make me

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 12:19]  
can you two please stop fighting?

**tooru is in GAY time out** [Today at 12:19]  
IT’S HIM  
I AM DOING NOTHING BUT SPREADING MY LOVE

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:20]  
ok throw me under the bus some more

**tooru is in GAY time out** [Today at 12:20]  
I’M TELLING THE TRUTH  
HE CAN LITERALLT SEE EVERY MEAN THJNG U SAY TO ME

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:24]  
it’s out of love

**tooru is in GAY time out** [Today at 12:24]  
IS IT  
IS IT REALLY????  
YOU NEVR DO IT TO KEICCHI

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:24]  
keiji doesn’t deserve to be bullied

**tooru is in GAY time out** [Today at 12:26]  
H  
TOUCHÉ

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 12:30]  
you two give me a headache.  
I’m very tired

**tooru is free** [Today at 12:31]  
i’m sorry!!!  
o H MY GOD  
WAIT

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:31]  
did u just.  
release him from time out

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 12:31]  
I did.  
is that a problem?

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 12:37]  
,  
nno

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 12:39]  
that's what I thought.

**tooru is free** [Today at 12:40]  
(♡‿♡)  
keicchi you are so hot

* * *

**tooru is free** [Today at 14:45]  
ok i want to get back on topic

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 14:45]  
??  
what topic

**tooru is free** [Today at 14:45]  
the relationships topic  
don't u ever just think abt tobio-chan and shouyou's weird telepathic communication thingy  
soulmate behavior

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 14:48]  
why are you talking about my children like this

**tooru is free** [Today at 14:48]  
you have KIDS?  
i'm afraid i can't do this relationship thing anymore

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 14:50]  
my kouhai are my kids...

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 14:53]  
again, you are college students  
they are not your kouhai anymore

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 14:54]  
once my kouhai, always my kouhai  
also you clearly have not paid attention to tsukishima and yamaguchi if you're calling kageyama and hinata "soulmate behavior"  
i'm disappointed  
i thought you did your research

**tooru is free** [Today at 14:59]  
I RESEARCH(ED) TEAMS FOR NATIONALS NOT FOR THEIR ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 15:00]  
well maybe you should've researched their romantic relationships instead then

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 15:03]  
you two are so odd.

**tooru is free** [Today at 15:09]  
keicchi  
shh please  
koushi may have brought up tsukishima and yamaguchi for soulmate behavior but,  
i raise you - ushiwaka-chan and tendou

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 15:15]  
oh my God, just. pick one potential pairing and focus on getting them together. no one else  
please  
I want you guys to stop talking about all this as soon as possible

**tooru is free** [Today at 15:15]  
!!!  
BUT THERE’S SO MANY  
SO MUCH HOMOEROTIC TENSION ON THE VOLLEYBALL COURT  
WAIT LET ME GET MY LIST

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 15:16]  
i hope you know you’ve just opened pandora’s box by saying that, keiji

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 15:16]  
I know  
and I will regret it later

**tooru is free** [Today at 15:16]  
U WONT REGRET IT  
I SWEAR

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 15:16]  
wait, you have a whole ass list????!?

**tooru is free** [Today at 15:18]  
U DON'T?

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 15:18]  
no i'm not insane like you

**tooru is free** [Today at 15:19]  
not insane  
i just like to be organized w my gay matchmaking thoughts.....

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 15:19]  
it is good to be organized  
but I do think a list is a bit much

**tooru is free** [Today at 15:19]  
ok  
shh  
every1 stop talking  
i need to outweigh the pros and cons of every single pairing on this list and see which is worth possibly getting together  
eta: unavailable

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 15:23]  
christ how long are you going to take on this  
just pick semi and shirabu and call it a day

**tooru is free** [Today at 15:24]  
NO  
HAVE YOU EVER EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT HOW WRONG THINGS COULD GO FOR THE TEAM IF THEY DON'T WORK OUT  
WHAT ABOUT SHIRABU AND THAT MIDDLE BLOCKER  
HUH

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 15:24]  
which one

**tooru is free** [Today at 15:24]  
ANY OF THEM

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 15:26]  
...I'm going to take a nap  
it's time-to-get-away-from-you-two o'clock

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 15:26]  
it's three pm

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 15:30]  
goodnight.

* * *

**tooru is free** [Today at 21:45]  
good evening  
( ˘ ³˘)♥  
i sent you a kiss send me one back

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 21:50]  
absolutely not

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 21:51]  
wow get absolutely destroyed  
imagine waiting five minutes just to get rejected

**tooru is free** [Today at 21:51]  
you are SO  
mean  
to me

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 21:53]  
I love you.

**tooru is free** [Today at 21:54]  
nnngdjfigjkd  
i,,;  
i LVOR YOY TOO

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 21:54]  
ah, now he's flustered

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 21:55]  
it's cute

**tooru is free** [Today at 21:55]  
!!!!!  
YOU RRE CUTW

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 21:55]  
thank you.

**tooru is free** [Today at 21:55]  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 21:56]  
you know, if it weren't for keiji's existence...  
i never would've known you were such a gay panicker

**tooru is free** [Today at 21:56]  
it’s only for him  
i would nevr gay panic for anyone else

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 21:57]  
i can see there's a very clear bias here between your boyfriends

**tooru is free** [Today at 21:59]  
jealous??

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 21:59]  
i might be

**tooru is free** [Today at 22:00]  
wait  
fr

**koushi’s the devil** [Today at 22:00]  
no

**tooru is free** [Today at 22:00]  
,

**best boy(friend) keiji** [Today at 22:01]  
can't you guys be, I don't know, a little nicer to each other?  
I don't understand how you two function together

**tooru is free** [Today at 22:01]  
this is just how we communicate  
it's our dynamic  
we love each other, really  
right, koushi

**tooru is free** [Today at 22:14]  
RIGHT, KOUSHI?

**tooru is free** [Today at 22:22]  
KOUSHI??????

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so it's been a year since i put out the first chapter of this....... oops
> 
> hoping the next one doesn't take another year, but i must admit i am not as into hq!! as i was when i put the first chapter out. although if there is a demand to continue, i may end up updating sooner
> 
> this has not been edited !! apologies if there are any mistakes. also just a reminder that the timestamps don't rly matter, they are just there to help me organize things personally


End file.
